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Sunday, July 29, 2007
1.55am
finished reading harry potter & also 4+ chp for bio. not a lot i knw but it well... at least i completed chem. prelims prac is coming up in 20days time, 15 aug. and im having my eng oral on the 14th. good number yea? hope all goes well too.
anyway, aut + rp people have officially ended their school term. good for them. kinda saddens me though. its the start of each of our journey, the start of the route we chose a year ago. it is also the start of making new friends a new and unpredictable journey, which frankly, i am not keen on starting. i dnt want to leave my friends who have been with me these 4 years. now that i've been cutting back on trng to study, i already feel so distant and different from the swim team that i once belonged to. the feeling sucks. whats gna happen when we all go our separate ways? i've know many of them for more than 10yrs, will our friendship still hold? or will it crumble i dnt knw. yes i have made many other close friends but whats gna happen after our O's ? its jst the pain of gng our separate ways again, not knowing what would become of the memories we once shared.
i dnt like the way im feeling now & i dnt wanna think about it.
to make things worse, prelims are coming up real soon & im jst, nervous. im afraid of dropping short of my own expectations. im afraid of disappointing others. i have a goal in mind and im afraid of not being able to achieve it. i dnt wanna fail anymore. failing to perform in sports has tortured me enough mentally, i dnt want it anymore. for once, i jst wanna shine.
2.22am
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